Cry Me A River: Break Up Do’s and Don’ts [hint: don’t do it on Valentine’s Day]

More stories from Jenna Mertz and Lindsey Morehart

More stories from Lindsey Morehart

Whether you have been in a long term relationship or a shorter one, break ups are never easy for anyone involved. While girls may sit at home and watch the Notebook over and over again, guys may or may not be doing the same thing. Getting over a break up is not the easiest thing, but here are a few steps one should take to end a relationship and forget about their old flame before Valentine’s Day arrives.

The Do’s:

  1. Have a good reason to leave: Don’t just leave because you’re bored. That is not a good excuse. If you leave someone who cares about you and you care about them make sure you have a good reason to end the relationship, not because you want to date their best friend. #gross #player.
  2. Break up face to face: Yes, this is as hard as it sounds but if you break up with them in person, you’ll give off the impression that you care more and it’s just as hard for you as it is for them. Be classy about this one people; go out of the relationship with style.
  3. Wallow: Cry. Go ahead. There is no shame in sitting at home on the couch snuggled under a few blankets, in your footie pajamas crying while watching Titanic and eating Ben and Jerry’s. Have no shame. Besides, if you don’t release your pain at some point, it will build up to the point where you will be beyond exhausted; so kick back, relax and eat some Ben and Jerry’s already.
  4. Realize life goes on: Once you’ve cried your eyes out it’s time to get off that couch, put that third pint of Ben and Jerry’s down and take a nice hot bath. Then, go step outside, watch the sunrise or sunset and just breathe in all that wonderful fresh air. Realize that you are alive. You made it through and you can keep making it through every day.
  5. Delete them: Get over that kid. Make sure you wipe them from your life for good. Because an ex is an example of what you shouldn’t have ever again. Plus, if they are adored by either of your parents, make sure you call the phone company and block their number. Trust me, your mother will definitely try to keep that one around.
  6. Something for yourself: Acceptance is the key when you finally realize the relationship is over. Yes, it’s unpleasant and is absolutely dreadful but go out. Wear something that makes you feel good about how you look. Go out with friends and laugh and be free. Do not feel tied down at all. Just go all out and have a good time. Show your ex that you are better off without them.
  7. Become independent: Wasn’t it Beyonce who said independent women are the best? Well that goes for men and women. When you’re in a relationship, you begin to depend on the other person which can never end well. Find yourself once that relationship is over and become strong and independent as you should already be.
  8. Look your best: Go shopping, buy some great new clothes, get your hair cut and buy some new body spray. You’ll feel great and just like a new person. Shock everyone. Color your hair if that is what you want to do. Just make sure you look and feel your best at all times.
  9. Find somebody new to flirt with: Move on. Go flirt with that special someone you have had your eye on who works in Hollister, give them your number and have fun. Be bold. And remember, you are amazing. A happy personality attracts only the best people.
  10. Take your time being single: Being single is fun, especially when your friends are single. It’s necessary to be single for a month or six months or even a year or two. Have fun and enjoy living your life for yourself and no one else.

The don’ts:

  1. Break up on an anniversary or a holiday…especially Valentines’ day: Really people? Really? Why would you even consider this? This is just harsh, and very rude. Besides, at least wait until you get a gift, and if it’s crappy then give it back to them but if it’s nice, wait a few days or a week and then let them go…face to face.
  2. Text a break up: This is the absolute worst. Do you want to show the world that you are un-classy and you do not and never did care about the person you were just with? If your answer was yes, then go right ahead. It’s your funeral. When you get dirty looks from people in the hallway and around town, do not blame me.
  3. Bad mouth your ex: Seriously? This is just trashy. You were with that person, and you fell for them so do not run around and talk bad about them; I guarantee karma will be paying you a visit after that one.
  4. Expect that they will come crawling back to you: Women and men have more self-esteem than that for the most part so don’t think they’ll be standing outside your house with a boom-box playing some sappy love song to win you back. Real life doesn’t work like that.
  5. Talk to them or text them: Just delete their number and avoid them during school. Hold your head high as they watch you walk out of their life forever.
  6. Read anything or watch anything romantic: This is the case AFTER you wallow. After you wallow, just move on. You have three days of moping and wearing sweatpants, then after that it’s time you move on and have fun.
  7. Go too crazy: Do not go out with your friends and get “crazy”. No. No one “gets crazy.” LMFAO gets “crazy.” Even then, it’s not worth it. Stay yourself and realize you don’t need to “get crazy” to have fun.
  8. Be alone: Be with friends and family. Do not be alone in the corner of your room rocking yourself back and forth while crying, that’s just pathetic. Go be with your friends or family and keep that ex off your mind.
  9. Pity yourself: This is the worst thing you could do. Honestly, you are either happier without them or you aren’t. No matter what, it’s ok and you will be fine.



  1. Think you are going to be a cat person: This is a fictional tale that one bad break up will send you spiraling into a cat lady or man and you will live alone forever. No. You will not. Someone else and someone a thousand times better is going to come in and sweep you off your feet. Remember that you will live in your fairytale someday even if it isn’t with your ex.
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