When did we start teaching young girls to suck in their stomachs and cheeks? When did we start teaching them to cry over the number on the scale and restrict themselves to starvation? When did we start teaching girls that their self worth is not defined by their brains, talents, or personality, but by their negative space? I’m calling an intervention. Our purpose on this earth is not to be thin or to look a certain way. Our purpose is to be kind. Optimistic. Honest. Understanding. Creative. Loving. Thoughtful. And above all, our purpose is to use our own individual talents to make the world a better place.

Now, for all of you who are thinking “I don’t do that. I’m not a part of the problem,” I would argue that most likely yes, you are. Body shaming in any form is damaging and oppressive, and there are more forms than you might think. They’re subtle. That’s why they’re so dangerous. For example, many people who contribute to the media contribute to the problem. When walking down the magazine aisle at the grocery store, scrolling through instagram, or turning on the TV, do you see diversity in the types of bodies? Do you feel like you can relate to the image being advertised? Probably not. TV shows, magazines, and celebrity instagram posts that highlight only one specific body type make women feel like 99 percent of all women look like models when in reality, closer to 1 percent of women look like that. The model figure is the only one being advertised.

Women also hear a barrage of subtle insults that begin to shape their way of thinking everyday. Saying things like, “You’re hot for a chubby girl (or some such),” pressuring women to get their “pre-baby bodies” back, or comparing women’s bodies to food items such as muffins or pears are all hurtful in their own way. Now I bet you’re starting to think about it. Maybe you’re starting to realize that you are part of the problem. And that’s okay. We have to recognize the problem before we can fix it. But we need to fix it quickly. Criticizing a woman’s body creates the mentality that no version of her body will ever be good enough. Women have faced unrealistic expectations and have been conditioned to feel inadequate by both the media and the people of our society for years, and it needs to stop.

However, despite the fact that there is a problem with body shaming in our society, the problem also partly lies with the girls that allow themselves to be victims of this kind of emotional abuse. To the girls that feel small, lacking, or valueless, I would say this: when push comes to shove, you are the ones who have allowed other people to decide whether you are beautiful – whether you are worthy. Please hear me when I tell you this. YOU are in control of your own worth. YOU have the ability to reassess yourself based on your OWN qualifications rather than the qualifications of the world. YOU. You know. And you get to decide whether you search for your own beauty in the eyes of others or within yourself. When we get to the root of the problem, and yes, there is a problem, the choice still becomes yours. And I promise you, making the decision to love yourself is probably one of the best things you’ll ever do.